Let me begin by saying what -should be- common knowledge...every parenting style is different and there's no right or wrong way as long as you are active in your role as a parent. When I was pregnant and during the time Mia slept 3/4's of the day I was constantly in research mode on how to be the best mom I could be. I bought probably 10 books on pregnancy and almost as many on parenting. I would spend hours on the Internet looking at sites like Baby Center and What to Expect. I learned a thing or two, however, I mostly put myself in a state of what I will term pedestal parenting. In other words, I felt like the way I raised my daughter was on this pedestal for all to judge and I constantly felt as though I was doing something wrong or feeling a need to grab a book or find and expert opinion each time I was unsure about something regarding Mia. Ten months later I have learned that the best advice has come from other mothers that I look up to. They may parent in a way that good ol Dr. Sears would frown upon, but their children are happy and so are they (most days, lol). I find that sweating the small stuff as a mom just gives me that much more to sweat and forget it I am busy enough!
There are so many things that I said I would never do as a parent and guess what? Honestly, I have already caved on a large portion of my no's before even hitting the one year mark. I try to make an effort to take the "expert" route, but sometimes that just isn't what works for me. Hang me...I let Mia have sweets, I let her sleep in our bed the first 8 months, I put a TV in her room so she could watch Barney while I have 10 minutes to get ready, I let her eat french fries, I will hand her a pacifier that just fell on the floor at the mall (gross I know, but in times of desperation...), and of course I have already locked the poor child in the car! These are all things I thought I would never do. I am so ashamed that I used to try to tell my sister that she should not let her kids eat certain things or watch so much TV...like I was going to do things better. Ha! As Mia has gotten older those small things have become less of an obsession as I find myself saying screw it more often.
I think there is a difference between values and rules and while rules are a bit more bendable (every now and then) I have a different stand on raising my child with a certain strong set of values. Although I will do my darndest to make sure what goes into her body is healthy I will put more focus on what goes into her spirit. I want her to always know God and have a close relationship with him and pray that she is also close with her father and I. She will also be raised to be respectful and kind to others and as her mother it's my job instill this sort of character...lead by example. All of the smaller things will continue to be smaller things in my book.
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