Let me begin by saying what -should be- common knowledge...every parenting style is different and there's no right or wrong way as long as you are active in your role as a parent. When I was pregnant and during the time Mia slept 3/4's of the day I was constantly in research mode on how to be the best mom I could be. I bought probably 10 books on pregnancy and almost as many on parenting. I would spend hours on the Internet looking at sites like Baby Center and What to Expect. I learned a thing or two, however, I mostly put myself in a state of what I will term pedestal parenting. In other words, I felt like the way I raised my daughter was on this pedestal for all to judge and I constantly felt as though I was doing something wrong or feeling a need to grab a book or find and expert opinion each time I was unsure about something regarding Mia. Ten months later I have learned that the best advice has come from other mothers that I look up to. They may parent in a way that good ol Dr. Sears would frown upon, but their children are happy and so are they (most days, lol). I find that sweating the small stuff as a mom just gives me that much more to sweat and forget it I am busy enough!
There are so many things that I said I would never do as a parent and guess what? Honestly, I have already caved on a large portion of my no's before even hitting the one year mark. I try to make an effort to take the "expert" route, but sometimes that just isn't what works for me. Hang me...I let Mia have sweets, I let her sleep in our bed the first 8 months, I put a TV in her room so she could watch Barney while I have 10 minutes to get ready, I let her eat french fries, I will hand her a pacifier that just fell on the floor at the mall (gross I know, but in times of desperation...), and of course I have already locked the poor child in the car! These are all things I thought I would never do. I am so ashamed that I used to try to tell my sister that she should not let her kids eat certain things or watch so much TV...like I was going to do things better. Ha! As Mia has gotten older those small things have become less of an obsession as I find myself saying screw it more often.
I think there is a difference between values and rules and while rules are a bit more bendable (every now and then) I have a different stand on raising my child with a certain strong set of values. Although I will do my darndest to make sure what goes into her body is healthy I will put more focus on what goes into her spirit. I want her to always know God and have a close relationship with him and pray that she is also close with her father and I. She will also be raised to be respectful and kind to others and as her mother it's my job instill this sort of character...lead by example. All of the smaller things will continue to be smaller things in my book.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
No More Playing with Mommy's Keys
We had a minor crisis yesterday, although at the time it was the most traumatic moment I've experienced as a mother. Just a little backdrop to the story...I let Mia play with whatever makes her happy (as long as it's not dangerous). So my cell phone, laptop, and car keys fall under the things I let her play with although I know I should not. Justin often reminds me that these toys of mine (especially the iPhone) are not baby toys and I continue to brush him off because what harm can come from it? Well, I learned my lesson yesterday!
Justin left the gym last night and met me at Publix to grab a few groceries. We had a normal fun filled shopping trip that started with Mia happy in the grocery cart and restless, being passed between mom and dad right before checking out. Then, of course, the stinker puts on her I'm the cutest baby in the world face for the cashier, grocery bagger, and anyone else in the vicinity and she takes her compliments with joy and does her little wave as we leave.
So, we get outside and I have a car full (3 car seats, 2 strollers, diaper caddy, etc.) so Justin decides to pull his car around to put the groceries in it. While he is getting his car I strap Mia in and pay no mind as she grabs my keys and begins playing with them...I forget. Justin parks, packs up the groceries and I shut the back door before opening my own to head home. Can you guess what happened???
Within nanoseconds of that back door closing I hear click, click. Then it hits me...Mia has my keys! With fear in my heart I look into the window and see her shaking the keys like a rattle hitting the lock button. Another backdrop...Just recently I watched an Oprah episode with the guest being a mother whose baby died by being left in the car and here I was standing in a parking lot with my 10 month old sitting in a sealed up car that wasn't running. I was momentarily taken out of the real world and placed in my own little reality where it was over 100 degrees outside, there was no oxygen in the car, and those friendly people in the store were standing in the parking lot whispering about how careless of a mother I am. While in the real world it was probably closer to 75 degrees (after 7PM), we were parked in the shade, and the few people who stopped to stare were only doing so because I was pacing and screaming at my husband.
In this moment I freaked the freak out! I was hyperventilating and circling the car like a crazy woman looking for something hard to smash the window open and beyond ready to use my fist if I couldn't find something. And (picture this) Justin is sitting in his driver seat doing something on his phone and Mia is playing with her toes. I started screaming at Justin to find something to smash the window NOW or I was doing it myself while tears are forming. Ever so calmly he says he's on the phone with the Franklin Police Dept. and they are sending the fire dept. to open up the car. Nope didn't calm me down at all...I was yelling at him to ask the lady on the phone "How long? How long?!" and again ever so calmly he tells the lady that his wife is very upset and continues giving her the needed info. Within 2 minutes we hear sirens and the fire dept shows up (still not comforted) and the first guy gets out and tells me not to worry she's going to be fine while tears are pouring and I am communicating through whimpers. They grab some gear and begin trying to unlock the door while I am thinking...really?! I expected them to have something to bust open the window and they are locksmithing it?! Luckily they got it unlocked in about a minute and Mia was just fine, not even a bead of sweat she was happy as can be.
Now looking back I have learned a few things. First of all, my husband is my hero and he takes care of his girls. God gave me this cool and collected man for a reason (because I am not so cool and collected?) and I need to let him do his thing before freaking. Also, although we complain about our city's crazy high taxes and bored police officers they are rocking it out when you need them. And lastly Mia should not be playing with mommy's keys.
Justin left the gym last night and met me at Publix to grab a few groceries. We had a normal fun filled shopping trip that started with Mia happy in the grocery cart and restless, being passed between mom and dad right before checking out. Then, of course, the stinker puts on her I'm the cutest baby in the world face for the cashier, grocery bagger, and anyone else in the vicinity and she takes her compliments with joy and does her little wave as we leave.
So, we get outside and I have a car full (3 car seats, 2 strollers, diaper caddy, etc.) so Justin decides to pull his car around to put the groceries in it. While he is getting his car I strap Mia in and pay no mind as she grabs my keys and begins playing with them...I forget. Justin parks, packs up the groceries and I shut the back door before opening my own to head home. Can you guess what happened???
Within nanoseconds of that back door closing I hear click, click. Then it hits me...Mia has my keys! With fear in my heart I look into the window and see her shaking the keys like a rattle hitting the lock button. Another backdrop...Just recently I watched an Oprah episode with the guest being a mother whose baby died by being left in the car and here I was standing in a parking lot with my 10 month old sitting in a sealed up car that wasn't running. I was momentarily taken out of the real world and placed in my own little reality where it was over 100 degrees outside, there was no oxygen in the car, and those friendly people in the store were standing in the parking lot whispering about how careless of a mother I am. While in the real world it was probably closer to 75 degrees (after 7PM), we were parked in the shade, and the few people who stopped to stare were only doing so because I was pacing and screaming at my husband.
In this moment I freaked the freak out! I was hyperventilating and circling the car like a crazy woman looking for something hard to smash the window open and beyond ready to use my fist if I couldn't find something. And (picture this) Justin is sitting in his driver seat doing something on his phone and Mia is playing with her toes. I started screaming at Justin to find something to smash the window NOW or I was doing it myself while tears are forming. Ever so calmly he says he's on the phone with the Franklin Police Dept. and they are sending the fire dept. to open up the car. Nope didn't calm me down at all...I was yelling at him to ask the lady on the phone "How long? How long?!" and again ever so calmly he tells the lady that his wife is very upset and continues giving her the needed info. Within 2 minutes we hear sirens and the fire dept shows up (still not comforted) and the first guy gets out and tells me not to worry she's going to be fine while tears are pouring and I am communicating through whimpers. They grab some gear and begin trying to unlock the door while I am thinking...really?! I expected them to have something to bust open the window and they are locksmithing it?! Luckily they got it unlocked in about a minute and Mia was just fine, not even a bead of sweat she was happy as can be.
Now looking back I have learned a few things. First of all, my husband is my hero and he takes care of his girls. God gave me this cool and collected man for a reason (because I am not so cool and collected?) and I need to let him do his thing before freaking. Also, although we complain about our city's crazy high taxes and bored police officers they are rocking it out when you need them. And lastly Mia should not be playing with mommy's keys.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Easy Breezy Days at the Pool???
Well I know it's not truly summer yet, but with the temps in the upper 90's let's go ahead and call it summer. And what a great one it is so far. It seems like many things have become so much easier with warm sunshine. I don't have to layer Mia up in jackets over long sleeves on top of a onsie and remove all layers to change her diaper throughout the day instead I can throw on a simple romper and off we go. I also don't have to warm up the car before going anywhere (although I will have to start cooling it soon). And best of all we get to hang at pool.
I have always envied those mom's who would walk in the bank with their kids all dressed in swimsuits headed for a day at the pool. I would daydream about the easy life of the stay at home mom...you know, sleeping in, afternoon naps, cooking gourmet meals in my cute apron, and those summers by the pool laying on a chair soaking up the sun with my favorite book...HAHAHAHAHA!!! Obviously those where pre- motherhood dreams. That life just doesn't exist for me or anyone I know. Right now I have an actively active, always on the move, always into something 10 month old (yeah the 8 month old days seem forever ago) in addition to the other two girls I take care of during the week. I just try to focus on keeping tantrums at bay, the house in working order, and avoiding any trips to the ER.
And don't let my tan fool you...the pool days are not easy breezy. I honestly feel like I need to go into full detail of my day when the hubby gets home and asks what I did today. If I just say "We went to the pool," I imagine him imagining what I used to imagine (LOL it makes sense to me). In hind sight I should say, "Well, I got the kids ready -I put on the swimmer diapers, praying they wouldn't poop in them before getting to the pool, followed by the scream fest that accompanies putting the bathing suits on; then packed the huge ass bag of crap (nope, no book in there) filled with sippy cups, snacks, spare diapers, change of clothes, towels, sunscreen, hats, pool toys, etc. Then I put on my tankini (that is going to give me weird tan lines) because I didn't want the other mom's thinking I am a skank by wearing a two peice. After we all got ready I lugged the huge ass bag of crap, the pool floats, and pulled the girls in a wagon to the pool. The fun began when I arrived and one child who seemed to love the water yesterday screams the entire time that I attempt to put her in the water while the other is screaming because she's hot and the third keeps asking when she can get in the big pool. After I go into action mode and get everyone calmed down (snack cups are a savior) we get in the kiddie pool where there are kids a little too old kicking, splashing and putting the fear of God into me (but I am too big of a wuss to complain)."
Finally we actually get in a whole 30 minutes of triple happiness before having to get home. It was all worth it because it was free entertainment, the house got less trashed this morning, I got some sun, and most importantly the kids napped like champs! Easy? No. But still great.
I have always envied those mom's who would walk in the bank with their kids all dressed in swimsuits headed for a day at the pool. I would daydream about the easy life of the stay at home mom...you know, sleeping in, afternoon naps, cooking gourmet meals in my cute apron, and those summers by the pool laying on a chair soaking up the sun with my favorite book...HAHAHAHAHA!!! Obviously those where pre- motherhood dreams. That life just doesn't exist for me or anyone I know. Right now I have an actively active, always on the move, always into something 10 month old (yeah the 8 month old days seem forever ago) in addition to the other two girls I take care of during the week. I just try to focus on keeping tantrums at bay, the house in working order, and avoiding any trips to the ER.
And don't let my tan fool you...the pool days are not easy breezy. I honestly feel like I need to go into full detail of my day when the hubby gets home and asks what I did today. If I just say "We went to the pool," I imagine him imagining what I used to imagine (LOL it makes sense to me). In hind sight I should say, "Well, I got the kids ready -I put on the swimmer diapers, praying they wouldn't poop in them before getting to the pool, followed by the scream fest that accompanies putting the bathing suits on; then packed the huge ass bag of crap (nope, no book in there) filled with sippy cups, snacks, spare diapers, change of clothes, towels, sunscreen, hats, pool toys, etc. Then I put on my tankini (that is going to give me weird tan lines) because I didn't want the other mom's thinking I am a skank by wearing a two peice. After we all got ready I lugged the huge ass bag of crap, the pool floats, and pulled the girls in a wagon to the pool. The fun began when I arrived and one child who seemed to love the water yesterday screams the entire time that I attempt to put her in the water while the other is screaming because she's hot and the third keeps asking when she can get in the big pool. After I go into action mode and get everyone calmed down (snack cups are a savior) we get in the kiddie pool where there are kids a little too old kicking, splashing and putting the fear of God into me (but I am too big of a wuss to complain)."
Finally we actually get in a whole 30 minutes of triple happiness before having to get home. It was all worth it because it was free entertainment, the house got less trashed this morning, I got some sun, and most importantly the kids napped like champs! Easy? No. But still great.
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